What is life like after divorce?
Divorce is often a painful, heartbreaking, and financially-crippling process. Some medical experts say that the pain of coping with divorce strongly rivals that of losing a loved one, especially if the marriage existed for a substantial amount of time. While there is no perfect strategy to remedy these feelings, there are many different ways to regain your strength once again – there is life after divorce.
Be Open to Support from Others
Losing your spouse can feel like losing a huge chunk of yourself. Reaching out to those who love you is vital; if your network isn’t too strong, make an effort to reinforce it for your benefit. It can be an old group of friends, or your family and relatives, or even a caring colleague. Some positive human interaction after your divorce can give your perspective a complete overhaul, but shutting out your loved ones can have negative emotional effects for both you and them. There is no need to feel timorous or ashamed – divorce happens, and your loved ones won’t think any less of you for it.
Despite common assumption, men need just as much support as women do in their lives after divorce. Men may hesitate a bit more than women when in need of help, but they have just as many emotional needs. Divorce can disrupt and devastate a life, but the road to recovery is shortened with the help from a great network of support.
Plan Your Finances
Marriage can shape many factors in your life such as family matters, retirement plans and financial situations. Life after divorce can come as a shock to all of these factors, especially if you’re required to put out financial fires like alimony, child support, or the lack of a prenuptial agreement. Keep calm and start with the basics:
- Determine your living expenses: This means that, without your ex, you must calculate terms between all sources of your income and your cost of living as an individual (or with children, depending on the divorce decree). Which assets will best help your needs? Figure out a stable budget that you can work with.
- Understand your tax situation: When valuing retirement assets, it’s pretty easy to disregard the tax implications of life after divorce. Definitely consider talking with an experienced divorce attorney or tax professional to review your tax situation.
- Diversify your investments: Although the extent of your marital assets may just include your home and retirement, it’s always a best practice to be flexible when considering how the assets will be divided. Don’t put all of your eggs in one basket with a single asset.
- Be aware that money changes over time: A cornerstone of understanding finances is the fact that present value, future value, and the effects of inflation all impact the value of money. For instance, this theory is directly applicable to delayed payments such as alimony or property buyouts.
- Make money: Obviously, you need income to feed your financial standing in your life after divorce. In addition, calculate your passive income abilities with factors such as rent, dividends, and income from businesses that don’t require your direct involvement.
Your Kids and Divorce
Although you and your spouse are both attempting to cope with life after divorce, your children have the both of you to look up to in such a difficult time. If you have kids, the divorce is not simply about you and your ex – you both wield the power to either diminish or exasperate the pain your children are feeling. Keep all contact and proceedings between you and your ex amiable, and keep those ex-marital issues between the two of you.
The negative consequences of placing your children in the middle of your divorce, or blaming the situation on them, will follow them throughout their whole lives. Your marriage may be over, but you still uphold the responsibility of nurturing a loving relationship between you and your kids in the long run. Put your personal grief and feelings aside when parenting your children; your divorce is not their fault, and they shouldn’t have to suffer consequences.